Tuesday, November 30, 2010

The News

We visited the OB last week, and after taking some measurements, he estimated Baby Joel's weight at 7lbs, 14oz.  Considering the 4 weeks left until my due date, Joel would potentially have weighed 10lbs at birth.  In addition, he has very long legs and very wide shoulders, making a natural delivery dangerous, potentially deadly for him.

So I am having a c-section.  December 15th, 8:00 a.m.

The doctor had informed us pretty well in advance, and I was prepared for him to advise a cesarean delivery, and Greg and I had had many conversations about just what our decision would be.  But as we sat there in the exam room, it was very hard to actually say, "Yes, okay.  Let's have surgery."

I think the overarching feeling I am experiencing is disappointment.  Delivering Sophie was hard, but it was also beautiful.  Messy, wet, chaotic, painful... and so, so joyful.  I will miss that experience.  I'm glad I had it at least once.

I'm also pretty worried about the recovery.  I had my gall bladder removed this summer, but it was done laproscopically and the recovery was not difficult (the resulting gall stones, pain and hospital stay were not fun, but the actual surgery and recovery were fine).  This surgery is much more invasive, much more violent, much more incapacitating.  Adding to that the sleeplessness that comes along with a newborn and a toddler who will be wanting to snuggle her mommy, and I am one nervous chick.

I know it will be fine, though, and that women do this every day.  Plus I will have some great help in Greg and my mom will be here for a few days afterward, so it isn't like I'm alone.  I'm just nervous about the unknown, I guess.

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